I live with my partner in a granny flat out the back of his friends place. It’s not ideal. The place is tiny and the freezer barely works and makes the place smell.
To be honest, we have been struggling for some time now. Our relationship has its ups and down, mostly downs, with most fights being about our finances. Our situation has become so pressured since my partner lost his job due to his health issues. He hasn’t taken it very well and being around him is like walking on egg shells. I have a casual part time job at a local shop but the money I get from this doesn’t even cover our basic needs.
Perhaps if we can get the right support we need, everything will be okay.
I didn’t have much of this growing up, in fact my childhood was full of sad experiences. What I want more than anything is to have a stable place to call home, where we feel safe, a better job that has decent pay and most of all, I want my children to feel loved and be happy.
Jo’s friends and family have told her that they are worried for her safety. They know her partner Chris can be controlling of her and blames Jo for his aggressive behaviours. They have encouraged her to seek support.
Jo has tried before to get the right support for her family, but she hasn’t found anything that works or that they can afford.
Previously reaching out has created more risk for Jo, and takes a lot of her energy, but due to Chris’ increasing abusive behaviours, she decides to try and reach out again.
I can’t take Chris’s threats and abuse anymore so I am trying to find out if there is a free service he can access to address his behaviours. I’m sick of his hurting me and making me feel unsafe.
We don’t have internet so this morning Billie and me are walking to the local shopping Centre to use their free WiFi. Billie hates the walk there so I often have to carry her.
The WiFi is so slow but I search for support services. There are so many and the internet keeps dropping out. It is overwhelming! I don’t know which one is the right one and anyway, I am starting to feel scared to talk to Chris with this idea in case he reacts badly.
Billie is getting bored and hungry. We leave the shopping centre to walk home. I feel lost.
Services aren’t always working to meet families’ needs. Some of the key barriers to access are: navigation issues, inflexible criteria, system not connected, cost, location.
Chris spends all day Sunday drinking. Jo feels especially unsafe around Chris when he is drinking as it often increases his abusive behaviour.
Jo is scared and screams for help. A neighbour who has called police on Chris in the past, hears her and calls 000. Before the Police arrive, Jo is able to flee the house with Billie and seek safety at her Aunties house nearby.
In that moment Jo decides she is going to leave her partner for good.
I left the house so quickly I have nothing. I am not going back so I need to find somewhere I can get support. I decide to go onto the Centrelink website to apply for a crisis support payment.
My phone was damaged when Chris attacked me, which is making it difficult to complete the online form.
It is way too complicated anyway. I call Centrelink instead and after being on hold for an hour the call is cut off.
Families state that often systems are overly complicated and bureaucratic, which can inadvertently result in a prevention in relationship building, act as a barrier to service and create unnecessary outcomes including time delays.
Telephones are an essential item for modern day life. However almost 9% of family members could not afford a telephone compared to 0.1% of the general population.
Later that week when my bruises have gone down a bit, Billie and I take a long bus ride followed by a walk to the nearest Centrelink.
We spend 50 minutes waiting to be seen. Billie is becoming more and more distressed and wants to go. In the end I can’t take it anymore and we leave.
We miss the 7 day crisis payment window and I am no longer eligible for this support. I feel exhausted.
Families want systems and services to be designed from perspective of lived experience by meaningfully including them in its design.
Families state that often systems are overly complicated and bureaucratic, which can inadvertently result in a prevention in relationship building, act as a barrier to service and create unnecessary outcomes including time delays.
Telephones are an essential item for modern day life. However almost 9% of family members could not afford a telephone compared to 0.1% of the general population.
Families want systems and services to be designed from perspective of lived experience by meaningfully including them in its design.
Jo has been staying at her aunt’s house with Billie now for the last week. She knows she can’t stay there forever and needs to find something else.
Billie misses her home and doesn’t understand why she can’t go back and get her teddies. Jo is scared of her ex-partner though and lives in fear he will visit them.
Jo wants to be able to put a safe and secure roof over Billie’s head but doesn’t know how. She hasn’t been able to pick up any shifts at her casual job as she has needed to care for Billie who doesn’t start school until next year.
I have been saving as much money as I can for a deposit on a rental. To help us get ahead, I have been cutting back on groceries.
Most meals at the moment are pasta or rice as this is cheap and fills you up.
I ration our portion sizes to make sure the food lasts the week. Sometimes I even skip meals but never Billie. I always do my best to make sure she gets what she needs.
80% of adults reported low food security compared to 58% for children, meaning that often adults may be going without so children dont always have to.
The Coronavirus supplement came through earlier this week. Although I desperately need to pay off my growing debt, that’s $750 I can put towards a bond, which is huge.
I now have enough to start searching for rentals. I downloaded a real-estate app and find a unit in our budget. Speaking with the real-estate agent though she tells me that their aren’t enough houses around, especially in my budget.
I am starting to feel desperate as we are running out of options.
Bills
43
Savings
10
Food
28
Others essentials
20
Improved quality of life
52
No/minimal impact
5
*Note: Percentages do not add up to 100% as family members responses may have been coded to multiple categories
80% of adults reported low food security compared to 58% for children, meaning that often adults may be going without so children dont always have to.
Bills
43
Savings
10
Food
28
Others essentials
20
Improved quality of life
52
No/minimal impact
5
*Note: Percentages do not add up to 100% as family members responses may have been coded to multiple categories
The money Jo had saved, including the Coronavirus supplement payment she received, has since gone on purchasing essentials for her and Billie as well as paying her growing debt.
Her family have given her a lot of help already but aren’t in a space to keep helping them.
Relationships there are getting a bit strained so she feels she will have to find another way.
My aunty doesn’t have a spare bed so Billie and me have been sleeping on her old couch for the past couple of weeks. I need to find us a proper bed soon though as I am waking up so tired which makes it hard to do the other things I need to do, like work.
I searched online and found a website called WAConnect. You can look up charities in your area who offer help with certain things. I rang a local charity and explained (again!) my situation to a lady called Praba. Praba didn’t interrupt me once and at the end of our chat she told me she could help us and to come and see her.
Families living in entrenched disadvantage experienced significant levels of material deprivation. 85% do not have access to $500 in an emergency, compared to just 12% of the general pop
The next day Billie and I visited Praba who welcomed us so warmly. She was especially kind to Billie and made her smile for the first time in days! She sat us down with a cup of tea and told me to choose any bed and they would pay for it. They even organize delivery. All I needed to do was drop off the invoice.
Praba made me feel human. Its lovely to see Billie so happy too.
Families listed the top attributes of good support to be empathy and competency – In other words, be kind, help me and follow through.
Other attributes includes: good listening, respect, autonomy, reciprocity, mutuality, partnership
Families have said they would prefer support that was local, community focussed, flexible and integrated
Families living in entrenched disadvantage experienced significant levels of material deprivation. 85% do not have access to $500 in an emergency, compared to just 12% of the general pop
Families listed the top attributes of good support to be empathy and competency – In other words, be kind, help me and follow through.
Other attributes includes: good listening, respect, autonomy, reciprocity, mutuality, partnership
Families have said they would prefer support that was local, community focussed, flexible and integrated
Over the past few weeks, Jo’s ex-partner Chris has been leaving her abusive voicemails. He wants to see Billie but every time Jo answers the phone to speak with him, he threatens and abuses her.
Jo’s mental health is really starting to decline. She constantly feels low and cries often. She desperately needs help but finding the time, energy, and money to do this is a real barrier.
I decide to call Susan, the social worker I was assigned several months ago. I know its been a while since we last met but I still need help, especially with sorting out the situation with my ex. She knows about Chris’ abusive behaviours so I won’t have to keep repeating myself.
Susan tells me though she is changing jobs soon and so can’t really help. She did say she could arrange for someone else to help me but only for a short time as the “time-limited” support I was assigned is almost up.
I told her not to worry as retelling my story and building another relationship is going to be too traumatic for me at the moment. I will just have to deal with my ex by myself.
Services aren’t always working to meet families needs. A key underlying cause of this is the way organisations need to compete for funding and contracts. Competition often limits an organisation’s ability to provide flexible and person-centered support.
The outcome of this is families currently are saying that eligibility criteria is too narrow or too rigid with demand for support often outstripping supply or service length being too limited.
Families repeatedly asked us before, during and after their engagement; ‘how will my information be used to make a difference? It is through this lens and in the context of your own influence and responsibility that these calls to action should be viewed.
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